At 25, she refuses to sleep before marriage but does not understand why she is single

Author: Clark Tos
2022-11-09 11:53:02

A surfer recently explained that she preferred to stay abstinent before finding the chosen one of her heart, while being surprised not to meet anyone.

Sexual abstinence before wedding is a choice that some call old-fashioned, even old-fashioned, but it means a lot to many people who sometimes feel misunderstood.

This is particularly the case of a young anonymous whose testimony was published this Tuesday, November 8 in the Guardian.

This young woman confides in a section of the famous British daily, where readers can ask questions to Pamela Stephenson Connolly, a renowned psychotherapist, specializing in sexual disorders.

Photo credit: Istock

She refuses to have sex before marriage and cannot find a fiancé who accepts her choice

While she wants to wait to get married before having sex, she nevertheless remains single, unable to meet a man. man who accepts his choice. A situation that she deplores and that she does not understand, so much so that she wonders if she is ' normal ».

« I am a 25 year old young woman and I have never had sex, because I always wanted to wait for marriage. I had two short-term boyfriends, but the relationship never went away because I wanted to wait. I explained to them that I found them very attractive and that I liked hugs and kisses, but none of them were satisfied with this. They have become distant. They seemed to think they didn't interest me (which I didn't, I really liked them) “, she says as well.

« I showed my love in every possible way except sex. I am sad and frustrated that I cannot meet a man who accepts me. The response to my desire to wait is always rejection. Is my behavior normal? I would like to meet a nice man, who loves me whether we have sex or not, and who doesn't pressure me to perform. “, she continues.

Photo credit: Istock

Pamela Stephenson Connoly wanted to answer her and reassure her, giving her some advice. In particular, she suggests that he open up more to avoid disillusionment and thus meet people who share his principles.

« There are many people in the world who have the same values ​​as you about premarital sex, but you will have to look for them in the places where you are most likely to find them. If you continue to expect men to generally comply with your wish to wait, you are bound to be disappointed (…) Expand your search for like-minded partners. If your values ​​are based on your religion, beliefs, or culture, it would be wise to seek out men from those particular groups or circles. “, thus recommends the specialist, who also advises to play cards on the table at all levels.

« It is important that you define for yourself - and potentially for others - exactly what you mean by sex. Outside of marriage, are you willing to engage in all erotic behaviors that you might mutually enjoy with a partner, except sex ? It helps if you are clear about this », insiste Pamela Stephenson Connoly.

And to conclude: Everyone is free to set the parameters of their dating needs and expectations, and regardless of the type of rules or limitations, being open from the start helps avoid misunderstandings and relationship complications later. ».

Source : The Guardian